Archive for July, 2009

WORLD’S OLDEST MAN LAID TO REST DESPITE FEEBLE PROTESTS

Friday, July 31st, 2009

Brighton, U.K. – One of the defining characteristics of humanity is our awareness of our own mortality. The inevitably of our own demise has helped to define the way our species has evolved and driven us to find new ways of extending the time we have on the planet. Tales of men like Methuselah have inspired science and philosophy for years and spurred the notion that we may one day be able to live extended lives well beyond what we once saw as the limits of our species. Scrape TV

OUR RESPONSE TO KANYE WEST

Friday, July 31st, 2009

As some of you may have read Kanye West has made a posting on his blog denying that he has claimed himself as “The New King of Pop” (read his post here). This denial is in response to a story that we published on June 29, 2009 (read it here). Scrape TV

CONRAD MURRAY HAILED AS A HERO FOR KILLING PEDOPHILE JACKSON

Friday, July 31st, 2009

Los Angeles, CA – Though the verdict is far from in mounting evidence is suggesting that the death of Michael Jackson may have been avoidable. With police and DEA agents circling Conrad Murray and other doctors who might have been involved in Jackson’s last days it is beginning to appear as though charges might in fact be laid against one or more people in the death of the greatest pop icon that has ever lived. Scrape TV

OBAMA’S BEER CHOICE BLASTED BY GOP

Thursday, July 30th, 2009

Washington, DC – Many a conflict has been resolved over a friendly drink. Whether it be spirits, wine, or a beer the breaking of bread between rivals symbolizes a commonality of the human condition that often leads to a new understanding. That is something President Obama is attempting to do by bringing Massachusetts Police Sergeant James Crowley and Harvard Professor Henry Gates to the White House. The two have been in conflict since last week’s arrest after which the ensuing publicity brought to a boil simmering racial tensions across the country, something the President hopes to douse in cold brews. Scrape TV

CNN AND BBC FINALLY ON SPEAKING TERMS WITH ZIMBABWE

Thursday, July 30th, 2009

Harare, Zimbabwe – Of all the tragedies in African politics there is none so tangible and tragic as the near collapse of Zimbabwe. With near record high inflation (516 quintillion per cent), crushing poverty, endemic racism, and social and political turmoil the virtual failed state has come to be the example of what damage can be caused by tyranny and lack of government accountability. Things have begun to change in the country though and new reforms and new attitudes both inside and outside the government plot to return the once great nation to prosperity. Scrape TV

STEPHON MARBURY REVEALS NBA’S DIRTY VASELINE SECRET

Wednesday, July 29th, 2009

Hollywood, CA – The existence of greatness is something that has always baffled both science and philosophy. There are certain elements that have always been seen as a major factor in excellence. Hard work, discipline, and physical advantages are no doubt a major factor in separating the great from the good. Even that though has never explained the gap between the truly spectacular and the great. The X factor as it has been called is something that has always eluded diagnosis and because of that continues to separate the haves from the have-nots. Scrape TV

OVARIAN CANCER REDUCTION IN MEN GIVES NEW HOPE FOR CURE

Wednesday, July 29th, 2009

Washington, DC – Cancer has long been a term filled with terror. That terror has only been amplified as science continues to battle the disease in all its various forms. Once a term associated with the heavens, the term has come to be known as death incarnate. Science though has made significant strides in fighting the disease, defeating some forms of it entirely and with every victory comes hope that one day the species will be totally cancer-free. Scrape TV

DATA SHOWS PROSTITUTE LAYOFFS STARTING TO EASE

Tuesday, July 28th, 2009

Washington, DC – Outside bankruptcy lawyers there have been virtually no professions that haven’t been affected in some way by the global economic downturn. As the full-blown recession approaches its first year the economy is starting to show signs of rebounding with housing prices starting to rise once again and employers hiring again. That rebound has put a lot of minds at ease with many now finding new work and others starting to feel more secure in the positions they already have. Scrape TV

STUDY FINDS SILVER BULLETS LARGELY INEFFECTIVE AGAINST WEREWOLVES

Tuesday, July 28th, 2009

Berlin, Germany – Mankind has long held onto a connection with the animal. From the Anubis of Egypt to the dragons of China to the American Bald Eagle, the animal world has long held a great fascination for human beings. Because of that connection animals quite often integrate themselves into popular culture and become personified. There is perhaps no better of example of that than the Werewolf, a fusion of the human and one of the most vicious of animals is tale that has been told throughout human culture across the world. Scrape TV

NFL LETS THE DOGS OUT AND REINSTATES MICHAEL VICK

Monday, July 27th, 2009

New York, NY – In his masterpiece ‘Crime and Punishment’ Dostoevsky wrote ‘This is the beginning of a new story, though; the story of a man’s gradual renewal and rebirth, of his gradual transition from one world to another, of his acquaintance with a new reality of which he had previously been completely ignorant.’ The tale of young man coming to terms with his murderous intents and justifying his behaviour has come to be known as one of the great works of fiction ever produced both for its craft but also, like most great art, for its universal nature. Scrape TV