The Virtual Union

Beverly Hills, CA – A report from last week that singer Michael Jackson was possibly close to death have turned out to be false. Rumours were abound that the legendary singer was suffering from a severe lung ailment that would require a transplant, but those have turned out to be false. What has come to light though is equally shocking, that the singer may be suffering from some sort of mental disorder. Scrape TV

Covina, CA – For the first time ever, Santa had his travel plans thwarted. They were not thwarted by bad weather or the lack of red nosed reindeer, but instead by a fire meant to kill a bunch of people. Of course this Santa had no intention of delivering any presents other than bullets, no doubt a result of a very naughty year indeed. Scrape TV

Gaza City, Palestinian Territories – As Israeli airstrikes pounded Hamas controlled sections of Gaza City killing over two hundred people, international observers were left helpless. The Israeli attacks were a response to repeated missile volleys from inside the Hamas controlled territories and left the international community wondering at the failure of the Egyptian brokered ceasefire. Scrape TV

Vatican City – Pope Benedict XVI replaced his traditional Christmas midnight mass with a plea to for new understanding and peace between Palestinians and Israelis. The pontiff’s plea also comes as an Egyptian brokered ceasefire nears expiration and violence between Israeli security forces and Palestinian militants increases. The Pope hopes to end decades of ethnic, social, and religious conflict by saying please during the peak of an exclusively Christian holiday. Scrape TV

Kenosha, WI – Field agents for the Wisconsin bureau of the FBI responded to at what first seemed to be a Christmas burglary gone horribly wrong late on Christmas Eve. Local police initially responded to a complaint from a local resident where a man dressed as Santa Claus was found blocking a chimney. After a half dozen similar calls to local police, the FBI was called to investigate the cases. Scrape TV

Find me a Zombie

Hollywood, FL – Ubisoft, one of the largest and most successful video game publishers in the world is being sued over a Wii title it’s likely the company never put much thought into before. With such hit franchises as ‘Splinter Cell’, ‘Prince of Persia’, and the Tom Clancy family of games, issues with the relatively minor ‘Price is Right’ game was likely the furthest thing from executive’s minds, but a Florida woman is forcing them to come on down. Scrape TV

Washington, D.C. – Stepping into the formidable legacy that has been her family business, Caroline Kennedy has begun pursuit for the senate seat which will be abandoned when Hillary Clinton takes up her new position as Secretary of State under President Barack Obama. Kennedy will also attempt to thwart another part of her family legacy by wearing bullet proof clothing and avoiding public gatherings and private planes. Scrape TV

Calgary, Canada – Borne from the mighty oilfields of Alberta, Nickelback has been a remarkable success story for all kinds of reasons. With chart topping hits, album sales in the multiple millions, and worldwide tours, the small town Canadian band has been one of the most prominent musical acts across the globe over the last decade despite not having any fans that anyone can determine. Scrape TV

Hollywood, CA – When Tom Cruise was in High School, Burt Reynolds was a star. When Brad Pitt was entering puberty, Burt Reynolds was a star. When Will Smith was still learning to read, Burt Reynolds was a star. Not so much anymore.
With hit movies, endorsement deals, and a beautiful Hollywood wife, Reynolds had it all but as things tend to do, all that went away. Scrape TV