The Virtual Union

Redmond, WA – After a long courting and a series of rejections and counter rejections, it appears as though Microsoft and Yahoo may come together after all. Following the stepping down of CEO Jerry Yang and a precipitous decline in stock value, the door has once again opened and Microsoft has reportedly stepped in with a 20 billion dollar offer for Yahoo’s web search portal. Many analysts are expecting the tow to finally seal the deal. Scrape TV

Mumbai, India – With the terrorist attacks in Mumbai now ended, Indian officials are being left with the aftermath. With nearly 200 people dead, hundreds more injured, and a nation on the edge, the Indian government is being charged with one of the most difficult tasks of recent years. No such problems though burden news services and websites that have been covering the attacks, all of whom have enjoyed a significant uptick in traffic, a major relief to some struggling to make ends meet in the ever worsening economy. Scrape TV

Pasadena, CA – Recent Mars Rover pictures released by the Jet Propulsion laboratory have revealed a shocking and controversial item. The photo which was taken in 2004 but only released this week reveals a lone two by four resting on the barren Martian surface. The delay in the release is due to the mystery of the origins of the very foreign material. Scrape TV

New York, NY – Already suffering from a hamstring injury and a problem filled season, New York Giants wide receiver Plaxico Burress will be out indefinitely after suffering non-life threatening gunshot wound to his right thigh. The apparently a self-inflicted accidental shooting is just one more step the one time star receiver has made towards destroying his career. ScrapeTV

Hollywood, CA – Still basking in the success of ‘Iron Man’, Marvel Studios has been busily planning a number of films including ‘Thor’ which with ‘Iron Man’ will tie into an ‘Avengers’ movie in 2012. Going with part of the formula that proved successful, Marvel hopes to strike gold again by casting another previously washed up eighties star for the upcoming feature. Scrape TV

Hershey, PA – The largest chocolate manufacturer in North America has just concluded a study that throws conventional obesity wisdom out the window. The privately financed study concludes that chocolate consumption in most of its forms does not significantly contribute to people being overweight. The study is being published in the latest issue of chocolate digest, a magazine published by the company. Scrape TV

Mumbai, India – Terrorists have launched a series of brazen attacks in the second largest city in India. Dozens have been killed and hundreds injured, and America is taking it badly. Scrape TV

Reykjavik, Iceland – As the world’s financial markets continue to sigh, nations around the world are dealing as best as they can in trying to make ends meets. From Japan, to the United States, to Europe, governments and businesses are struggling to make ends meet. Of all the nations of the world there is none more profoundly affected than the tiny nation of Iceland, much to everyone’s surprise. Scrape TV

New York, NY – Political pundit and commentator Ann Coulter has had her jaw wired shut after an accident that left her with a broken jaw. The outspoken right-wing commentator is expected to remain silent for at least a few weeks, much to the joy of the majority of Americans. Scrape TV

Vatican City – “Christianity will go. It will vanish and shrink. We’re more popular than Jesus now - I don’t know which will go first, rock and roll or Christianity. Jesus was alright, but his disciples were thick and ordinary. It’s them twisting it that ruins it for me.” Scrape TV